It has almost been a year now since Mummy had her stroke. I contemplate Christmas now without her and know that her influence pervades all our lives. The Christmas puddings, cake, mincemeat and mince pies, the bread sauce , cranberry sauce, pigs in blankets and stuffing were all inspired by her. The decorations and the Christmas lights all pay tribute to her memory. I cannot enter a shop without her voice in my head reminding me of what she thought and advice she gave (it has left me in tears sometimes but it is a gift to feel that she is here still in that way). Most of all I feel gratitude; some people never have even a glimpse of the great love that she shared with all of us everyday. She was such a blessing and a source of such great joy in our lives. Her death can never destroy that and each time that I think of any event, scene, food or activity that Mummy would have loved that I feel close to and loved by her still.